Warning Signs: The Ballad of Charlie Darwin

             Watch gap between train and platform, do not exit moving train, automatic door, keep feet off seats, brake for emergency use only, emergency exit. All inarguably good advice wrapped in candy cane patterns of eye catching red; a truly inspired design as the same person who might attempt to step off a moving train might just as easily miss a less apparent sign.  Better for the sign-smith to take the extra care, really pay attention.

          Some people, though, you wonder if they've already spent all their attention just making it through childhood or if they're saving it for one massive future payment for the benefit of all mankind, maybe they've payed all their attention designing warning signs cautioning people to pay attention.

          A man awakens to the sickening realization he's slept through his stop. He jumps out of his seat and immediately runs for the doors. He's panicking but even in his adrenaline-ridden state he miraculously manages to mind the signs. Caution, do not exit moving train.  "Well, this makes sense," he admits to himself. Conveniently there's an emergency brake for use in such an acutely emergent crisis as this.  The man turns his attention to the brake as the other passengers, all applying their best efforts to adhere to the please remain seated sign, realize the commuter crime this man intends to commit.  Cries from the car are heard:

"Wait!"

"What are you doing?"

"No, stop!"

"Don't pull that!"

          No use, this man can read, he knows the rules. He must take caution not to exit a moving train. He rushes to the emergency brake and pulls.  The train screeches to a halt as the car erupts in a collective groan. No one knows what's about to happen next but whatever it is it's certainly not going to expedite this evening's commute. Two conductors walk into the car to find a man standing next to the brake as 15 to 20 silently disgruntled passengers point to him in unison. The conductors hurriedly question the man as to the why he pulled the brake. Upon discovering the problem is more of an evolutionary hiccup than an emergency they signal the engineer and the train rolls forward on the wonderfully mind-numbing monotony that is the daily commute.